Pamper Your Pussy

Your know your pussy works hard for you. So, while you’re enumerating your 2011 New Year’s resolutions, you can consider writing “pamper my pussy” on your list.

According to the Los Angeles Times, you can now take your favorite playmate to the spa as more than a mere sidekick.

A vaginal steam treatment from Korea has made its way across the Pacific and is slowly filtering into American spas, according to the Times.

(Please, no jokes about steamed clams.)

The ancient treatment, called chai-yok, involves sitting on an open-seated stool and letting steam from water infused with mugwort and wormwood, among other herbs, rise into your secret garden. The steam bath is supposed to possess healthful properties, including an ability to increase fertility, get rid of hemorrhoids, and fight infections. Some steamers report increased energy levels, and a new spring in their step.

The healing and rejuvenating powers of Chai-yok haven’t been scientifically proven.

If chai-yok hasn’t managed to infiltrate your town yet (maybe because you live anywhere besides La-la Land), the Times says an at-home kit containing a stool, boiler and herbs is available online, although I couldn’t find one to to link to for you. Looking made for some good Google searches though: “vagina steam,” “chai-yok,” and “pussy spa,” among them. (My research did turn up a similar Balinese aromatherapy treatment called “ratus”.)

After you have your pussy steamed, you can have all your pubic hair waxed off and replaced with rhinestones, your anus bleached, and your labia dyed a brighter pink. By the time you’re done, your own mother won’t recognize you, no matter how many times she changed your diapers.

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