Here’s your opportunity to heat up 17 syllables!
In honor of the merry month of Masturbation May, Early To Bed, Chicago’s feminist sex-toy shop and online purveyor of sex accessories, is hosting its Third Annual Masturbation Haiku Contest.
The contest is open to anyone willing to write a traditional haiku poem (three lines; five syllables, seven syllables, five syllables) on self-love and masturbation.
Employees of Early to Bed will pick the top 10 entries, and those will be featured on the company’s blog.
There are prizes for the top three haiku: First place, a $25 gift certificate to Early to Bed, a large bottle of Sliquid Organics lubricant, an Early to Bed T-shirt, and a copy of The Big Book of Masturbation for first place; second place, a small bottle of Sliquid Organics lubricant and a copy of The Big Book of Masturbation for second place; and for third, a copy of The Big Book of Masturbation for third place.
Contestants are limited to five haikus each, and all entries are due by May 31. Entries can be mailed to Eden@Early2Bed.com. All entries must include contact information and a pen name, if desired.
I sent off my entries…