My Kid’s Gay Hat

novmodernclothhatWe’ve been experiencing a weird phenomenon lately. People have been addressing my 12-year-old son and me as “ladies”.

I suppose this is a byproduct of gay friendliness, but it’s still a little weird.

The first time this happened was in January in Disneyland when a park photographer approached us and said, “Would you ladies like to get your photo taken? You could even have it taken with Darth Vader!”

We sort of looked at each other… one of those movie looks. I told the photographer “my son would probably love to have his picture taken with Darth Vader, but I’ll just watch.”

She sort of stammered and apologized while she handed him a light saber.

Then early in March, leaving a No On 8 rally in San Francisco, a cab driver did it again, “You ladies have a good evening.”

Here’s what’s going on: My son and I are now the same height. I’m sure that by the time school gets out for the summer he’ll be towering over me. In a frisson of sixth grade fashion flair, he’s taken to wearing a fedora. But under the hat, he still has a sweet baby face, right on the brink of adolescence. I like to say he’s stumbling into puberty. And, I look really gay. Although I’d describe myself as a medium-maintenance sort of femme, I like to wear my hair shorter than Rachel Maddow’s, on the verge of crew cut. I have those interesting glasses that seem to be the mark of the modern lesbian.

So, people take one look at us – me looking like a little ol’ dyke and him a similarly-sized person in Chuck Taylors, jeans, an ironic t-shirt, and a hat – and assume he’s my butch girlfriend.

Luckily, my easygoing kid thinks this is really funny… but I’ve decided I’ll throw a couple of bucks in the therapy jar just in case he needs it later.

He's not as tall as Darth Vader... yet.

He's not as tall as Darth Vader... yet.


4 responses to “My Kid’s Gay Hat

  1. He must be a fun kid if he can laugh at it!
    People always think my sister and I are lesbian lovers and that when I refer to her as “my sister” I mean something else. They even challenge me about why we have DIFFERENT last names. Uh, because we married people with different last names. It crack us up every time! You have to laugh at these things!

  2. Yeah, okay, I’m thinking he can handle it. He’s smart as a whip, cute as a bug, more articulate than most adults out there. When the hormones kick in, pretty will give way to handsome. And then, my dear, you’ll be back here posting about a whole ‘nother thang.

    • haha Susan “a whole ‘nother thang” – so true. I believe it was just a couple of weeks ago that we got a tweet “kid kissed a girl!!” Here goes!

  3. My 33 year old daughter and I have looked like sisters for years; she looks a bit older than her age and I look a bit younger….it kind of mushes up in the middle. The last time I was in Ohio visiting her, we got the are-you-lesbians evil eye repeatedly, notably in a yarn store where we were actually followed for 20 minutes. And then when she was 13 years old, her full height of 6″2″, and looked like a gorgeous & glamorous 18 year old, I used to threaten to get a tee-shirt that said “Don’t even think about it! I’m her mother”. She takes it all with a grin of salt, and we remain extremely close.

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